missing something...

She got there early…helped her aunt set up for the pooja…it was going well…she had dressed simple yet suitable for a special pooja…it felt good to be around people who had known her since before she even knew herself…old friends kept pouring in and though she did not know them, she smiled and spoke to them as best as she could…kept thinking that her parents were probably doing the same thing so far away and her heart ached to be with them…but she had to be tough and not let her emotions take over…and then it was time for the arti to begin and the singing began…and she closed her eyes tight and hummed along…and they started appearing…she saw the many times they had done the pooja as a family…ma and pa’s voices mingled so sincerely that it always made her choke with tears…her brother’s attempts to ring the bell to some beat and miserable failure at it…it made her smile and cry all at once…and she slowly opened her eyes, hoping that she’d find her ma and pa and brother standing right there…but they weren’t and all she saw were strangers and the tears streamed down uncontrollably and she tried to hide her face and hoped no one saw her…
At the end of the pooja, she rushed to her uncle…asking to be excused cos she was not feeling alright and he just had to take one look at her to know what he had to do…took her in his arms and kissed her head so many times…she thought that it would make her feel better but it just made it worse…she was now trembling and crying into his shoulder…it probably felt good to be engulfed in arms that really cared…it had been a while since she'd felt cared for in this way...and she stood there for the longest time…unwilling to let go…and then slowly, she stepped back…trying to be in control and she kissed him and her aunt and ran and ran…like she wanted to escape…escape from how badly she was missing home…
In the auto…the cold air hit her face and helped her become numb…numb enough to reach home and crawl into her quilt…and she cried some more…
Its strange how the combination of the right song, people, fragrance can take you right back to another time…the mind plays so many games and emotions just spur that on further…till you’re at their mercy…and yet how can you live without feeling strongly... its the only sign of being alive...