Of streams...
i write this as i sit in our little south indian breakfast joint in matunga...i'm early as usual...i sit at our table...in the position that i always do...he'll walk in...we'll order exactly what we always do...coffee at the end...tumble it perfectly, just the way we had been taught...he'll disapprove when i try to pay...i'll let him this time...
i once fooled myself into believing what someone once told me...that each of us is a stream...that there are times when streams run close to each other...but when their time together draws to an end, they go their own ways...i believed that then...i believed in destiny then...
not anymore...destiny and streamy stories are what we make up to fool ourselves...delude ourselves...to make sense of things out of our control...everything we're doing is a result of decisions we make...mostly conscious thought out decisions...
well, i do believe that our time with people is limited...carefully measured...and should be used well...i no longer believe that we have no control over it...we do...we choose not to...and thats not destiny...
they leave one by one...they always do...and i miss them...and then i learn to ignore that...how come i never seem to leave...ok...maybe i do leave sometimes...but not half as many times as i am left...
So SS, i shall miss thee my sweet friend...for all that you gave to me and all that you let me give you...and i know you haven't left yet...but sitting across the table...as i tried to focus on my idli, i missed you as i looked at you and thought of how much more i shall miss you once you're gone...
no stream you are...but keep on flowing...till we decide to meet again...
posted by drifting leaf @ 10:31 AM
6 Comments:
thats true.
i think the world can be divided into the movers and the non movers.
the movers, move . . .
and the non movers stay . . .
both have their miseries, cos the non mover wonders why every body leaves them by; and the movers wonder when they will 'learn to be still' (the eagles, its a gorgeous song.)!!
As I read more of your stuff, I have a strange feeling like its written for me. Even the SS matches. Strange way you have of saying my thoughts aloud.Similar sense of separation, loss, loneliness and much more I can't point out.
You have a nice way of weaving things together.
hey ?...i want to become a mover...but i know i can never be...
what are you?
chamki: hey...thanks..this blog has brought me close to so many people who think like i do...and its a nice feeling..
yeah, yeah!! im a non mover who would love to be a mover too.
did u have to ask?
I'm not a mover. Somewhere deep down i think moving is betraying. Something has to be ended to move.
?: i guess i knew but asked anyway..:) you show all the signs of non moving...
chamki: i never saw it as betrayal but maybe you are right and maybe thats why i don't make a greater effort to switch to the other category...
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