upset...

Just been so upset by all that’s been happening... not sure what to make of it... at times i find myself distant and able to let it bounce off me and then there are times i feel i could simply start crying...

I’ve been glued to the news... staying up till 5 each morning... waking up with the tele turned on and allowing myself naps only when i feel it’s safe to do so... in some way, i felt my staying up was critical to the operation... i needed to feel like i was doing my bit... but just staying up and sticking it out with all those involved... how lame...

I picked up the paper this morning... felt i had seen it all and really there was nothing more that could make me react... but it did...

To me, words seem to have a greater impact than images... strange... i thought my sense of sight was so strong... but images don’t leave that much to the imagination as words so... seeing the words upset me far more...

- why do we use words like ‘mop up’ – they conjure up the images that i guess they are supposed to...

- why do we get into the details of describing the condition of the people who’ve died... it seems so disrespectful...

- It’s always bothered me how a person is a person with a name one second and death turns that person into a body... why can’t we still refer to them as people and not bodies...

There were so many images in the newspaper today that really upset me... why do we need to photograph those grieving... how upsetting it must be for someone to see their grief make front page images...

In this race to outdo the other newspapers, the other channels, each has gone many a step beyond what is acceptable... we seem to want to sell everything... need to compete about everything... turn emotions into news...

It really upsets me... and yet it’s not about me, is it? But it sure feels like it...