Cobwebs…

So I’m in the train the other day, heading back home and it’s a complete mess…so much intolerance…happens too often…so I’m trying to keep cool and not let anyone disturb my peace of mind…when you try to do that, your inner gaze turns to the little things that you’d never notice otherwise…leaning against my little space, squashed by people on either side, trying hard not to hurt the little kid near my feet, hugging myself close… I found the only place to look, was up… and what I saw was so peaceful…
Up above, living a secret life, was this delicate cobweb…beautifully formed…glistening in the dark…did not see its maker…but gosh…at that moment, I could shut out everything and just look up and take in the beauty of that moment… it was my tranquility in the chaos…
Just when I thought I could not be more taken in, I notice its faint shadow and what amazed me was that the shadow looked so much stronger than the web itself… and my mind began to wander…
Right there in the middle of a sea of people, the noise, the movement…I could find the mental space to think…and I did…something about that web intrigued me…what was it?…
was it, its ingenuity in being at such a novel place?…
was it the sheer abandon with which its creator had left it and gone off?…
was it the fragility with which it moved with the wind?…
was it the idea that all that beauty was ultimately a trick…an illusion?…
that what seems beautiful right now, will also be the source of great hurt and pain?
was it that the image we project is stronger than we actually are?
Oh lots of ideas were jumping about in my head…each jumping higher, in an attempt to be chosen as the one…but I needed more time…so I let it go…

And then It came to me last night…as I felt myself rise and fall to the rhythm of my breath…lying still…hands touching ever so lightly…alone in many ways…gentle movement of the curtains as they swayed to the breeze…dim light streaming through from the streetlight outside…I thought to myself…there is a risk in exploring new avenues… there is a risk in flying too close to that cobweb…but would I not miss out on so much beauty, if it treated everything with the wariness of the cobweb…even a pretty innocent flower appears to be a cobweb, if you make it that…

I find myself to be an adventurous little fly… I fly free…I fly everywhere…cautious but not closed…open to flowers…open to webs…so I’ll get stuck and hurt…but hey, that’s what I’m all about…I’m about having the power to believe that even the greatest risk…the most complicated cobweb, has the ability to change…has the power to cave it and let me fall through…living on by giving in…