Blinky Lights Far Far Away

So I was on the flight back to Bombay… nervous as hell… claustrophobia ready to strike…geared to keep myself occupied for a year!!...kaifi azmi’s poems…journal…brand new pen…bar of chocolate (big bar!!)…mp3 player with songs that can help me survive hell and back…
Anyway, I was prepared for the worse…
And then it happens…I look out of the window and gasp… the sight before me, unlike anything I have ever seen…it was a rough sky… yet merged with gentle strokes of a fluorescent orange along with hints of rani pink and a turquoise with a growing expanse of blue beneath and above it…it was like watching a canvas come alive…
And then I looked at the earth below…another gasp (I do that a lot!!)… I felt like that time I was at a tiger reserve in Uttar Pradesh…I got off the jeep and spent a good amount of time sitting on a tree stump, mesmerized by an ant hill.. so intricate…so complicated…so vulnerable…I watched the little ants rush about their business, unaware and unperturbed by my presence…oblivious to their insignificance…engrossed in their life, in their little role…
Our lives are so much like that…looking out of my window, I saw hundreds, thousands of little lights blinking…shiny little streams of light, the blinky road lights, tiny tiny cars with their headlights…warm lights, cold lights…each so distant, so alien….so so so far away…
And I thought to myself, one of those insignificant blinky lights marks my home, my family… my little world…its scary to imagine their anonymity in the scheme of large things…just a few ants going about their business, unaware…engrossed in their life, in their little role…
I do hope he who is watching, is paying more attention to the details than I am…I hope he knows each of these blinky lights and listens to their prayers every night…like the others, my life is in your hands…but really can you deal with it?!...what a crazy job you have…I alone ask for so much attention…and I’m one blinky light…
But having said that, you should know that I do trust you…who else do I have…have to believe that someone up there is watching each little ant…nudging each into position when they stray…putting them onto new paths… testing them…loving them…even knowing each of their names…
While we focus on the path right in front of us, you are looking way ahead…giving us enough tiny speedbreakers now so that we can deal with the major turn you see ahead…even the good times, carefully rationed out to keep us happy, to keep us going…
Unsure of where I am right now?! Am I at a tiny speedbreaker, preparing for a big turn in my life…am I in a happy place, preparing for more happy doses…?!
You’ve got your eye on me…and I can let go now… : )