It's been so long.... so much has happened.... so much has not.... somethings have changed.... i have not....maybe its time to be back here.... maybe its time to re-connect again...

Our Wild Trip down South - January 2009

It was quite a special trip that i knew i wanted to record in detail... and while my family laughed everytime i pulled out my black notebook to make a note, i do hope they value the memories i’ve managed to collect... here are some things i loved...

Bombay to Kochi
- Planning a trip 3 months in advance – a trip where my pa, ma and ko would get a chance to spend time with manu. The trip getting cancelled suddenly and just as suddenly getting back on track.
- The thrill of making a long long list of things to carry and comparing notes with mom 
- Not being able to sleep the night before and getting up too early
- Reaching the airport too early and catching a cup of coffee with ko... and getting so lost that we had to be paged to board!! How embarrassing was that – our first time and really it has to be our last!!
- The view from the window as we approached kochi – the green patches of land that seemed untouched by humans – the million trees with a few red slate roofs peering through
- The kochi terminal – so tiny and quaint... walking from the aircraft to the terminal – not something you get to do too often
- Ko welcoming us to his city with a huge hug... and me realising that he was hardly the tiny little boy who i saw in the hospital nursery... and yet i loved him just as much as that day
- Amazed at how ko spoke to the cab drive in mallu. The malyalis have a soft, barely audible, rumbly, confusy way of speaking that we north Indians find hard to even hear, let alone understand.
- Everyone here is either a cheta (brother) or a chechhi (sister). When ko first called out to the cab driver, i thought he said Jeda... like the Jedi warriors from star wars!! Funny.
- The only billboards we saw on the way were those of either saris or jewellery – which makes me think about the status of women here – it is still largely a matriarchal society.
- As we got closer to Ko’s house in elamakara, my excitement grew – what lay ahead was a whole week with my family – all the people i love the most in the world... in an exotic land... with lots of plans...
- As we pulled into a tiny bylane, i asked ko if that was his lane... he said that it was the main road that lead to the lane that lead to his house!! : )
- Being shown around his adorable little house – his castle! Felt so proud in that moment. Hugged and hugged ma and pa... happy to be with them...
- Quickly scanned through his lonely planet and another book on kerela and we were off to Mattencherry and Fort Kochi. I must say that my little brother is an excellent, well read and wise guide...
- I love the kind of homes i saw on our drive... bright vibrant, crazy colours – bright pink, mango yellow, grass green... these people are nuts and i loved that... i saw the exact purple house that i hope to someday have as mine!!
- The jewish market – what looked like tiny antique filled stores turned into long long stores that opened up to the other end of the street – fascinating pieces of work – from the largest varpa to row boats, to elephants made of rotting wood to trinkets and cow masks... i walked around wanting to photograph everything – which we more or less did...


- In each of those old pieces of work, there seemed to a past that was trapped – felt a strange something that made me hesitant to touch the things....


- Found many interesting doors and windows... wild colours and a mystery mixed with character... the things i find most attractive...
- What made me sad was that truly a lot of the handicrafts were the same that i would have found at janpat in delhi.... there was nothing very unique here.
- Had a cup of tea at ‘The Teapot’ – took my breath away – careful carelessness which is hard to achieve – camomile and blueberry tea amidst hundreds of tea pots – on shelves, hanging from the ceiling and even on the wall. We knew we would have to come back here again...
- The jewish synagogue – a lot of history and even more history there – i had never been into a synagogue before... we sat quietly on worn out old wooden benches and there was something to look at no matter where you looked – from the blue pottery tiles which seemed to enact a story on the floor to the many many chandeliers that seemed to twinkle as the light passed through them – divine... the watercolour paintings depicted how the jews first arrived here and were welcomed by the locals and how this became home for them for hundreds of years... the tablets laying forelorn outside, weeds growing in and out of them, had the most interesting signs etched on them and i wished i could run my fingers over those ancient carvings
- Chinese fishing nets which were still used – what a contraption – and what a catch – we found little shacks filled with the most interesting sea creatures – so so beautiful that i wondered how i could eat them – saw the biggest fish that i had ever seen... Manu’s hand had to be held tight and he needed to be dragged away...
- We just about made it to the kathakali performance – it was on the first floor of what looked like an old home that had been turned into a theatre... it was an enthralling performance which we managed to understand cos we were introduced to what he different gestures would mean – it was the enactment of a part of the mahabharat – kichchaka vadhan - where bhim kills kicchaka for insulting draupadi... what i found enthralling was the different gestures and expressions that were so exaggerated, the two drummers who seemed to hold the story together and the singer who was the voice that evoked so many emotions from laughter to horror to amusement... the synchrony between the dancers, the drummers and the singers was really what made it come together...


- Pa and ma had arrived a day before us and had already learnt how to find their way around – thay had a quirky way of remembering names of places – elamakara (where ko lives) became allah + makara (the husband of a spider!!) and Punakal temple (the landmark to get to where ko lives) became Pune + kal.... crazy parents of mine...
- Loved the ‘a’ that gets added to every word here – so its ‘lefta’, ‘righta’, straighta and my favourite – ‘fisha’... mum has been trying to call the driver and other men ‘chetta’ but is just hopeless – she’s created a hundred versions of the word that are just not right – from chella to cheddar to cheter... she did not show signs of giving up till the end of the trip...

Kochi to Munnar
- The drive up to Munnar was beautiful... despite the green curtains in the quailis that we had hired... we really took to our driver – jyoti chetta who was quiet and respected the fact that he would be stuck with crazy north Indians for next many days...
- Pa kept us all busy and excited by asking us questions like – our favourite travel moments – the answers ranged from Manu in Cyprus to Ko’s trek to the Himalayas, to the swiss cows that Mum will never forget, Pa’s memories of London and the breath taking starry night in Bhinsar that will never leave me for as long as i live...
- We stopped at Hotel Malabar on the way – not a hotel and not in Malabar – just a little wood and tin dhabba – we ordered coffee and ma spread out her little picnic – pakodas and chatni in buns filled with butter!! Oh boy... even when we’re not in the north, my mother carries it’s essence firmly with her... we walked around and watched how rubber was being collected from the trees... the spiral white cut that ended in a coconut shell, filled with a sticky peaceful goo, dripping drop by drop...


- When we needed to take a loo break or were assessing if a place was safe to eat, the expression on ma’s face, was what we all turned to look at – that woman is incredible, she can assess a place in seconds – our very own self-designated Family Health Officer – we love her annoyingly snobby ways...
- The car filled with songs that we had grown up hearing especially on holidays– old hindi songs that i will always associate my pa with – i closed my eyes and told my mind to capture forever, the soft singing of my father and brother... their singing made my heart stir so...
- As we spiralled up the hills, we moved from sunny stretches to dark patches... and if it was an open jeep, i’m pretty sure, i would be dizzy...
- Came across so many malyali signs on the roads that i started a silly game... i drew some of the letters and then tried to associate it with something...
- Hill rides are the same and yet they are distinct differences – instead of the hanumanji temples in the hills of the north, here in the sahyadiri ranges, we saw little churches... i love the hills no matter where... saw tall tall slender trees with miles of gorgeously textured barks...
- We stayed at the Riverside Waywood Hotel – played fuzball and carom in the recreation room as pa checked us in... remembered the many summers ko, ma and i played ludo and carom all afternoon – i was so bad at it and ko was such a pain... he had such weird moves...
- We had lunch at Rapsy in the Munnar market – parothas (the south Indian version of our parathas) chicken chops and biryani
- Met Mr. Jospeh Iype – labelled by the Lonely Planet as the ‘swiss knife of Munnar’!! we can tell you anything about the place so i asked him how i could experience the sunset while walking through the tea estates. He told us to walk about the General Manager’s bungalow ‘Land Brooke’ at Devikolam. What a drive that was... tea estates all through – more shades of green than every thought imaginable and what perfect order it was in – like a blanket with patch work squares of every conceivable print in green....


- We found a little stream where we saw a spider struggling to go upstream to join his family – the boys took a hundred pictures of him and even tried to help him... crazy creatures...






- Getting a beer in the state of Kerela is no easy task... firstly no one understands if you say beer or alcohol.... it’s called beverage here, pronounced ‘beeeeverage’... and then when they do direct you, you end up in a government store, at the end of a very long line.... only to pay three times what you would elsewhere in the country!!
- Mum had us in slits as she tried to tell room service that she wanted tea... he kept saying ‘pottea’... and mum kept repeating yes, 2 ‘pottis’ very hot please!!!
- I loved the swing by the river... loved how manu pushed me high...very very high and then said that he did not thing the branch supporting the swing was strong enough!!
- All ko and pa and manu seemed to discuss what taxes and what paper work needed to get done! It was so not entertaining....
- After a very dull dinner.... we decided to take a walk in the cold... it was freezing – well not really but it was by my standards... i snuck one hand into manu’s jacket pocket so that his hand could warm it up and another into ko’s jacket.... will never forget that moment as we walked towards a little bridge.... three of us connected in a strange manner... looking up to see the stars appear slowly in the night sky as we got further from the bright lights of the hotels.... there were more stars out in the sky than in that sky over bhinsar.... and i could not stop exclaiming...

- Next morning, we were off to Top station and the two dams... we had Maggie made over a wood fire, had real strong coffee that i think will keep me awake for the entire holiday, the boys tried their had at rifle shooting while ma bought a bizarre hat.... we even went on a paddle boat ride... watched the boys struggle as i sat snug in between... and watched them steer our boat in all directions... looneys...


- Had a yum kerela meal... took a snooze and then drove to sunset point but really did not get a sunset...
- We visited the kanan devan hill plantation where we saw how tea was made.... tasted some... bought some... even watched a short documentary called ‘New Roads Old Mountains’ which was really fascinating – Munnar was first discovered by the British as they pursued the evading Tipu Sultan... tea was found to be the most suitable thing to grow due to the elevation, the rainfall and the angle of the slopes... the Madhumalai tribe was hired as advisors and guides due to their vast knowledge of the terrain... labour came from Tamil Nadu... Munnar came to be named because of the 3 rivers... UK company Finlays bought a large part of the tea estates which were later bought by Tata and are now owned by the people themselves and known as the Kanan Devan Hill Plantations... the people were careful to conserve the environment and hence only 30% of the land is used for the plantations... the rest remains free for the flora and fauna to flourish... the british had built a mono rail, a ropeway, roads as well as a light railway but it was all destroyed in the great flood of 1924... many many interesting facts...
- We had lunch at the SN lodge... and it was fascinating to watch the locals eat all the rice and curry and veges with their hand... it really did seem like an art that i want to try out at home one day 
- We went into the ‘Cinnamon Garden’ and Mr Nayar took us for a tour... we saw a whole bunch of trees and shrubs and we made an attempt to remember them all as we drove away... the neel karanji flower (which blooms once in 12 years.. net expected to bloom in 2018!!) coffee, nutmeg, chillies, pepper, vanilla, cinnamon, cardamom, bettlenut, aracanut, mango, tamarind, agarbati tree (i forget the name!!), cocoa, banana (i had not really tasted a banana that was as banana as that one), strawberry, guava, pineapple, passion fruit (2 types), almond, lemon, orange, orchid, shoeflower, payaya, jackfruit, teak trees, sandalwood trees, sugarcane, palm, tulsi, turmeric, arrow root, mulberry, kokum, allspice, cloves, lemon grass, amaltas, palash, rose apple, eucalyptus, the insulin plant, evergreen, periwinkle flower... it was an eye open to see the different flowers, fruits and spices... had no idea how they had grown before this... my. Nayar is an extremely knowledgeable man....


Kochi Again
- Laughed at how pa kept wanting to know what the plan was and ko kept getting annoyed... hahaha...
- Met up with ko’s friends at the Cochyn Bar – their getaway for a beer, chillie chicken and football while REM played softly in the background... think your friends are a reflection of how you are... and i really liked ko’s... then walked to The Cocoa Tree to get a mudslide... some super chocolately dessert while we talked about whether love really was real and what it meant to be married... interesting... tried to get information on ko’s lovelife... not much luck in my quest.... 

Kochi to Kumarokom
- Manu was the chetta in this trip.. driving ko’s friends car to our boathouse... how we managed to get the houseboat is a story that i can write into a thriller and make a pile of money selling!! Scary and amusing and something that will only happen with my pa....
- Manu made it very clear that he was on this trip for the food and if the meal did not have fish, it was a waste of a meal... ko kept thinking that we had not packed enough to snack on while ma made a thorough inspection of the houseboat, giving it a thumbs up... the kailasam 4 was indeed a luxury houseboat.... complete with three bedrooms, fancy shower fitting (alas no water pressure), a first class kitchen team, an LCD TV and DVD player (alas crap movies that don’t work) and the best spot – the sun deck....
- We set sail... excited about the adventure that lay ahead... and it began with the lavish lunch that was served to us... karimein was truly all that it was made out to be... delicious, delicate fish and it easy to navigate around the bone... loved the kerela curd curry – sour and so light... within minutes of finishing the mean, we were on the sun deck... sprawled out in the bright sun... the feel of the sun warming up my bones to the sound of water lapping lazily about out boat... next stop was the fisherman’s cove where the boys picked up the prawns that they wanted for dinner... straight out of the fishing nets....






- Saw all the beautiful hotel properties, the birds, the water hyacinth – imported by the government to stop mosquito lava from growing and now considered a menace as it kills everything around it... they looked so lovely with the pale blue flowers... islands of green floating on the lake...
- We docked in a canal next to a village for the night... ko had plans to sleep under the stars... we geared up to repel the mosquitoes...
- Pa asked more questions!! What has been our favourite moment on the trip so far... for ko it was the lunch and the incredible setting for it, for Manu, the cruise was better than that on the River Danube. For ma, it was the first glimpse of Lake Vembanad as we got out of the canal. For pa, it was the selection of the houseboat and knowing that this one was right at the first glance. For me, it was lying in the sun after lunch... that feeling of calm and that desire to find a way to keep us together like that forever... being stranded seemed so desirable...
- I took photographs of my little brother from every angle conceivable... he loved it and so did i.... for every 10 pics i took, he took one of mine... i never thought myself beautiful before this trip... think that being in the sun is more my thing than the cold... it brings out all the browns and darks in me and i love those colours...
- Early morning, i jumped out of bed... ran up the sun deck... the scene was completely different from the starry coconut lined skyline of the night before... the mist swirled eerily over the water... a calm mesmerizing movement... similar to agarbati smoke swirling away in the light of the candle... ko gave fishing a shot – unsuccessfully!!
- The service in the boathouse was special... and it was a cruise that we will never forget... and guess what ma found someone who she could speak to in Hindi and call ‘bhaiya’... phew!!

Back to Kochi
- The last leg of our holiday... tanned, relaxed and beginning to grow sad... manu asked when i would start crying about missing ma and pa and i cheekily told him that i was saving it for the last day.... it had been a special week for me... one that i will hold close to my heart... from being called a malyali, to getting terribly lost on our way to Fort Kochi, to leaving ko and waving to hi till he was out of sight, to watching ma and pa disappear into their aircraft, knowing that ma was crying just as i was... this is how the best memories are made... and this is what will keep me going till we all unite again on another adventure...

frames....

so i've had these beautiful wooden picture frames for a few years... rich dark brown with reall nice carved work on it... so i went a little nuts this afternoon!!
i painted them in bright colours!!! not sure how M is gonna react when he comes back after a week to find his living room's main wall full of all these crazy frames...
i'll let him pick the pictures!! heheheheh

...even more birds!... i had no idea i loved them this much

upset...

Just been so upset by all that’s been happening... not sure what to make of it... at times i find myself distant and able to let it bounce off me and then there are times i feel i could simply start crying...

I’ve been glued to the news... staying up till 5 each morning... waking up with the tele turned on and allowing myself naps only when i feel it’s safe to do so... in some way, i felt my staying up was critical to the operation... i needed to feel like i was doing my bit... but just staying up and sticking it out with all those involved... how lame...

I picked up the paper this morning... felt i had seen it all and really there was nothing more that could make me react... but it did...

To me, words seem to have a greater impact than images... strange... i thought my sense of sight was so strong... but images don’t leave that much to the imagination as words so... seeing the words upset me far more...

- why do we use words like ‘mop up’ – they conjure up the images that i guess they are supposed to...

- why do we get into the details of describing the condition of the people who’ve died... it seems so disrespectful...

- It’s always bothered me how a person is a person with a name one second and death turns that person into a body... why can’t we still refer to them as people and not bodies...

There were so many images in the newspaper today that really upset me... why do we need to photograph those grieving... how upsetting it must be for someone to see their grief make front page images...

In this race to outdo the other newspapers, the other channels, each has gone many a step beyond what is acceptable... we seem to want to sell everything... need to compete about everything... turn emotions into news...

It really upsets me... and yet it’s not about me, is it? But it sure feels like it...

....give peace a chance...

Birds....

I have been thinking a lot about birds for a while now... did not realise it but i am fascinated by them... if you come into my home, you will find them everywhere.... wooden birds, metal birds, wax birds, mirror work birds, birds that are toys, bird sharpeners, bird pencils, birds in my paintings, birds in my bathroom, even birds on a duppatta!! – a lot of birds that don’t jump out from the rest of my little things but who are always there and in some way must symbolise something to me.
I tried to think about why i’m taken in by them and here are some possible answers....

- The mystery – i love enigma and in some ways they represent that. I’m unable to fully grasp what their life could be like or how they think and what they do.
- The fact that i can’t simply reach out and touch them, fascinates me. I guess that’s linked to the first point.
- Their colours – i’m mesmerized by the textures. I’ve observed Crow Crow for long stretches of time and not a single one his black feathers is the same shade of black. Pigeon necks – magical in so many ways. And these are the more regular birds.
- Their movements – i’ve seen two eagles soar from great heights and gently spiral down and i’ve been thrilled to see that dance from my balcony – there’s a grace there that is unique. I especially love how sparrows hop.
- The fact that the sky is their home. Not sure i can articulate this clearly but they’re so above everything else. It’s a mind thing. They live in a place that’s uncluttered in thought and through that have the ability to rise above all that i’m caught up in.
- Their lightness. Thing more than actual weight, its the feeling i get when i see birds in flight. This sense of airiness... not really freedom... but the sense that my feelings alone can make me fly.

Not sure i quite have understood what this means and really there is no reason to think so much either. I like birds and i’ll continue to collect them and bring them into the different corners of my life.

Meet my friends...

So it’s real interesting but i’ve made a lot of non human friends lately... let me introduce you to them and their lives... or rather my perspective to their lives...

Met Waggy (aka wag, waggit, waggitu, waggin)- the doggie who lives in our building compound...

Many names but its really one thing about her that we (M and i) love – her wagginess.

We met her 2 years ago when we used to go early morning for our walks. She has the ability to make you feel special and wanted. She looked forward to seeing us and soon we looked forward to seeing her.

She’s had a rough couple of years and many times, i’ve felt that i’ve lived through them with her. When we met her, she had not a care in the world. Her friendly temperament brought her food from everyone. We were the only ones who felt we need to not make her dependent on us and gave her lot of attention and time. She met some stupid dog who got her pregnant and vanished. She had a litter of 7 pups in May, to M and my astonishment and horror. She really was not ready to be a mum but we ensured that we supported her. Milk and roti was taken down every day, twice a day for her and we watched her struggle with her babies.

M told me not to get attached but that’s a hard thing for me to do. I had named each of them, knew their silly characteristics and we were both getting more and more attached. Till one by one, we lost each of the babies and everytime, we cried, got angry and moved on. Her last two puppies were the most endearing. Blackie wag and little wag. Their surname was wag as they were just as silly as their mum – and by that M was referring to both Waggy and me!!

Blackie was adorable. Cutest little thing, he was the runt of the litter and i developed an instant connect with him. Little wag was a copy of his mom and was a bully. We lost them both.

Waggy went away for a month and i really did not want to / was not ready to come to terms with what that meant. And then suddenly, she’s back. Her silly old self.

She’s my walking companion. I’ve resumed my walks and at sharp 5.30am, when i come down, i see wag wagging!! After the customary 5 biscuits in the morning, we start walking. She actually walks with me and after every round, sticks her juicy wet nose into the palm of my hand so that i can give her a little pat on her head to thank her for allowing me to walk! We adore each other.

In the mornings, we have a lot of conversations. I do most of the talking while wag listening like a good girl. I saw her with this not very nice dog the other day and we had a chat about stray men and how she really should keep her distance. They’re no good at all.

I love her and my mornings are more fun because of her.

Meet Fluffitu (aka fluff, fluffy, fluffit) – the other new doggie in my life

Fluffitu is new to the building. She looks like a mix between a dog and a fox. She’s got a lot of fluffy fur which some security man trims every other month and she looks like a clown when that’s done. We don’t know each other too well. But she’s fascinated by the bond between Wag and me. So while Wag walks with me, Fluffitu walks ahead of us, constantly turning back to hear my constant chatter to Wag.

Feel like she’s had a tough life too. Probably abandoned and lonely and now feels like she’d found home. Just wants to be understood and live without any kind of restrictions. Think she’s quite young.

Think we find each other very amusing and that’s what our relationship is centred around. I like her and want to get to know her better!!

Meet Crow Crow – the young crow that comes to our bedroom window between 11am and 2pm everyday and crows really funnily.

So Crow Crow is quite a character. We look forward to meeting him every Sunday afternoon when we’re home. I always burst out laughing whenever i hear him. He’s got a most unusual cawing. Its like his voice has not broken yet. We’ve known him now for over 6 months. M’s take on him is that he has a problem with his voice and is shunned by the other crows. We rarely see him with a friend. He comes for tuitions to our window where a very boring sounding crow sits with him and they practice. Its something that his parents have forced him to do and he, being a good boy, does it.

He does not seem to be making progress. We try to find ways to peek and see him without disturbing the lessons. Assumed he was a crow with a big head and a tiny body but he looks normal.

We enjoy afternoons with him. no matter what we may be engrossed in - a movie, a book or a nap - think have always started laughing suddenly when he says something absurd.

Will try to post pictures of them all once i take them!!

Think that they add a lot of silliness to my days and since its been especially hard at work, they help me unwind. Also, they don’t care about my life before and after them. We enjoy the time we have together and there are few expectations other than biscuits, licks and wags. If all relationships were that simple....